Coming of Age: Final

       Being born and raised in Guangdong, China, my parents made the brave decision to move to America not knowing a word of English, trying to start a new life. Growing up I was at a great disadvantage compared to most kids. I was taught manners, how to walk, speak Chinese, and understand cultural traditions. That was about it. I lacked certain skills that most kids were taught. For example, speaking English. I basically lived my entire life without any guidance. Some people would say it's because they don't care, but I personally think it's because they trusted me to do whatever I felt was right, to fend for myself. Without even knowing it they taught me the most valuable lesson I could ever ask for. On the other hand, I desperately craved guidance. I needed someone to show me the right way of doing things, instead of learning it the hard way. Often times I struggled on an everyday basis, from learning English to just fitting in. The only thing I ever wanted growing up was someone who understood and would support me every step of the way.

      Although my parents weren't always there for me I had two older brothers, Thomas and Wayon, who were there through it all. I developed this unique bond with Thomas that was unlike any other. With Wayon, on the other hand, we were polar opposites. Thomas guided me when no one else could. He taught me and disciplined me. Being a straight-A student and an outstanding athlete, he was definitely a role model. He grew up in the same situation as me. I took advantage of his personal experiences, so I can learn from them and not make the same mistakes. He was the first person I would go to when I needed help with homework or just wanted advice. Often times I would complain to him about how stressful school is or how I just want to give up. He never fails to bring me back to positivity, reminding me that it'll all be worth it or it's going to prepare me for college and life after that. I made me think more about life as a whole rather than useless tasks repeating itself and I couldn't be anymore grateful for that. As cheesy as it sounds, I don't know what I would've ever done without him. The day I have been dreading for years has finally come. The day he begins a new chapter of his life, college.

      I'm sitting in the car, the car we've had for the longest time, unable to be still with all the jitters rushing inside of me. We pull up to a curb which means it is time to get out. With camera in hand I quickly jump out as Thomas and my parents load enormous bags of luggage onto a tiny cart. Thomas and I push the cart to check it in while our parents park the car. It's happening, it's actually happening is all I could think while the large bags are being lifted onto a scale. Once that is taken care of we make our way to a bench and wait patiently as there is time to spare.At this moment feel mixed emotions as this is a bitter-sweet moment for me. I am beyond proud of him because he is the most hard-working person I know and no one deserves it more, but also I am depressed because I will no longer have him to guide, support, and push me through my years of adolescence and especially when I begin high school, when I need him the most.

      Looking back, Thomas played a vital role in shaping me into the person I am today. As early as I could remember, I was a selfish, inconsiderate little girl too worried about everything that had to deal with me. If someone were to tell me about the hardships they're going through, I had that, "Well, that's their problem, not mine" attitude. The more time I spent with Thomas the more I transformed into a different person. I constantly witnessed him doing good deeds. For example, he would kindly offer help to those who seemed to be struggling with grocery bags, or simply hold the door for others before closing it completely. He was the kind of person my parents were ecstatically proud to call their son. Instead of feeling downgraded by their feelings towards him, I used it as motivation to improve who I am as a person. Being around him for such a long period of my life is what definitely influenced me to be a "modified" version of him. I gradually removed that childish attitude and replaced it with kindness. I saw Thomas as a role model. Most of the time he didn't directly teach me how to behave, but instead, I observed and caught on. It might seem as if he was the kindest person ever, but that was not the case. As brother and sister we had our fair share of fights and stupid arguments, but the part that makes us so close is that we can overcome any obstacle and realize that, in the end, we're still family.

      Close friends and relatives come to greet and congratulate him on everything he has achieved, not forgetting to wish him the best of luck at the University of Washington. He turns his wrist to take a quick glimpse at his watch and soon enough, he says, "Well, I should start heading to security check." The feeling of anxiety fills my entire body as I can't bear to see him leave. We walk with him until retractable belts form barriers signaling that this is the farthest we could go. He is on his own from here on out. I turn to him and spread my arms out on both sides of my body to give him a big hug. A tear rushed out of my eyes and down my face. Not wanting him to see me cry, I quickly wiped it away with the sleeve of my shirt. This was the turning point for me. From this point on I'm not going to have someone to make sure I do well in school and make good decisions. He is moving on to bigger and better things and so should I. He has guided me well all these years, now it's time to put everything he taught me to good use. To be successful in life I can no longer rely on him or anyone else to do the thinking for me. I like to believe everything happens for a reason. This particular event was specifically designed to help me come to realization, to become a mature adult worthy to take on this new change.

      We said our last goodbyes and before we knew it he was waiting in line, occasionally looking back at us as if he didn't want to leave. Each step he took made me more and more anxious for him and for myself. Thinking about what our futures would be like as we drift our separate ways. Would he be so busy he forgot he had a little sister? Will I crumble without his guidance? Will he still treat me the same when he gets back? All these questions gather in my head like a swarm of bees, but only time will reveal the answers. Almost near the front of the line, he waved at us and I was quick enough to snap a picture. This is a picture I will always cherish. It reminds me of what I had realized that day. His smile showed he was ready to take on this next chapter of his life. As my role model and brother, if he was ready then so was I.