Describe the world you came from – for example, your family, community or school – and tell us how your world shaped your dreams and aspirations.
Knowing my parents moved to the United States from China, unfamiliar with the culture and language, I had a feeling it would affect me in all ways possible. They taught my brothers and I everything within their range of knowledge, for example, Chinese traditions, manners, etc. However, in areas dealing with the English language or anything American, it was just so out of their reach. I wished I could have been more exposed to things outside of their comfort zone, but it was hard. After all, I was raised as if I was born in China because that is what my parents grew up in. That did not prepare me for life in the United States. I lacked certain skills that most kids are taught at an instant. Do not get me wrong. I valued the cultural traditions, manners, and language they taught me. It helped me develop pride and respect towards my ethnicity. In the end, I appreciate what they had to offer, but in most cases it just was not enough.
When it came to school it was a dreadful six hours of my day. Immediately, I was behind from most of my classmates, being required to take special classes to help me improve my English. They were not to my liking and separated me from my friends. The feeling of being left out lingered for a while. Instead of allowing my emotions to get to me I was encouraged to work harder to overcome this obstacle. My parents were never strict in making sure I get my work done or that I get straight-A's. One of the reasons was because they did not have the knowledge to guide me like they wanted to. Instead they sort of just let me take care of what I needed to do and be in charge of my own learning. They thought that without pressuring me I would become the person I would want to be. Someone they would be proud to call their daughter. In a short period of time I was told I could return to my normal classes because I reached the same level of knowledge as those the same age as myself. Within a few months I was able to accomplish something others take years to overcome. Soon enough I was one of the top students in my grade. I could not be any more ecstatic. This was the event that really jump-started me being confident in myself. It made me realize I was capable of great things as long as I had a great desire to.
Nonetheless, I was constantly being underestimated, even with my own aunties, uncles, and cousins. They knew the conditions I grew up in, so they created false accusations to bring me down. I would often tell them the life I fantasize about when I become an adult. Describing my dream car, house, job and so much more. I needed them to support me through my future plans, but that was not always the case. They would begin by saying how I was stupid enough to think it will ever happen and how I was not fit to carryout that lifestyle. Sometimes it was not as direct as that, but I knew they were thinking something along those lines. Their comments did not benefit me in any way, but bring me to tears unnecessarily. I knew I was not what they described me as and I showed that in my elementary years. I wanted to accomplish something beyond their standards of me to really prove them wrong. Whenever I heard a negative comment anger would rush inside me, trying to hold back and not explode. I did not want them to know how I actually felt. Instead, I put all that energy to my studies. For them to see me excel is all I ever wanted.
They underestimated me, my own family. That is something I never expected from the people I loved. Regardless what they said, I could not let it get the best of me. I took their negative comments and used it as an opportunity to for them to see me improve. I had to begin with English, the basis of everything. Everyday, whether it was before or once I got home from school, I would spend hours watching TV, and not just for fun or to get away with not doing homework, but to listen and comprehend what they were saying. Educational shows on Disney, Nikelodeon, and PBS is what I lived off of. It might not seem like much, but believe it or not, it gave me the knowledge to learn an entire language on my own. That's something I never thought I was ever capable of. Of course that is not all I did. I took initiative everywhere I went. Starting conversations with others was how I applied what I learned to the real world. This went on until I reached a point where everything about the language became second nature. I was determined. And when I am determined I do not back down until what I want is fulfilled. At an early age I set goals for myself. Goals that seemed quite extreme, but were necessary in my situation. Over the years, the negativity I received no longer bothers me. I found a way to block it out and move on with my life.
My parents did not give me enough of what I needed in life, like social skills, knowledge about American customs, or the language, but I could not blame them. All I could do was make the best of it and learn from my experiences. As the years went by, I began to think about my future. College, a job, and starting a family. I began fantasizing about what a perfect life would be like, had a reality check, then created mental goals in my head to hopefully achieve in the surprisingly-near future. Thinking about what I had to go through as a kid I could not imagine having my own children going through the same or something even close. I have been through it and, sure enough, it was not fun, almost stressful at times. I made it a must that I attend a university to further my knowledge in a particular area. Obtaining a well-paying job is what I feel is the most important to support my family in all their wants and needs. I will make it my duty to give my family the lives I was never exposed to. Although my parents didn't raise me how I would have liked them to, it shaped me into the person I am today.
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